Well its been about two weeks since my best friend and our talented drummer Rick CImato was killed by a car going the wrong way down the highway, on the night after x-mas. Since then I have been fighting sadness and grieving heavily. Everyone tells me to keep writing songs, not to stop performing and playing – but honestly – I don’t know what to do.
I find myself alone, a place I usually love to be — now lacks the relevance, as my lives project got intertwined with the metal and blood that was my friends fate.
I have no choice but to write dark and doom music, and to follow through with this – but I am not approachable. I am somewhat of a fascist, and write all the music. I need the control and fear I will not find what we need in the band, after Ricks departure.
I am doubtful in my talent, and fear this is the end, though I know in my heart it is just the beginning.
Eastern philosophy helps put a context as to what I feel and what is real. My focus is to rise from this, to help out with Ricks name and honor.