We have a great new record coming out, one I have little steam for promoting. In the wake of my friend being killed, I am caught not wanting to play my guitar, not wanting to write music or even draw pictures. I am in a funk, and I cannot express on Facebook, to friends, to family or anyone in the music industry how this event is being processed.
The sad thing is not the loss of life, it is the death of dreams.
The selfish association I have with leading a band creates a dilemma for me. I can’t be in a band. I need to lead a band, or be a producer. This crossroads has me sleeping late and going to bed early, not able to meditate or be myself, in the moment.
The people and things associated with this process is getting me upset, getting me to a place where I want to paint alone, and not pursue music again.
I am upset with the lack of response in garnering a new drummer, though I have not put the word out there yet – I need someone.
I feel the universe owes me for the dues I have paid, but this is not true. I need to pound the pavement and create something as I did years ago — though I am now older, and could give a shit less about what you think.
If you play drums and can put up with a free place to rehearse, let me know. firstname.lastname@example.org